Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
