Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
