Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize