Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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