Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
