We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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