now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
