can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
