You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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