So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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