Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
