Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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