3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
