They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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