Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
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