I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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