So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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