Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
