Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
