I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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