and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize