I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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