Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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