i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
