So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
