Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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