Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
