if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
