Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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