It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
