So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
