evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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