May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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