Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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