Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Do vagina's smell?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize