Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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