Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
