Apparently you make a good broom.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
