Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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