Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
