Are we in a gay sports bar?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He shit in the fireplace
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
