I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
