I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
