is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
