Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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