The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
