whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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