You just made me feel so damn special
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
