I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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