Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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