i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Every concussion has its silver lining
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
