Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Ketchup is God's man juice
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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