Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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