He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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