this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
