Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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