dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
