eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
