Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
