I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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