Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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