Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
