At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
