Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
