There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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