doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
