ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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