sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
