I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
