I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Just invented taco cereal.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
