Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
