just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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