From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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