No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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