So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
