Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just got carded by a ten year old.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
